DEAD MEME - Ren

HOW CAN I KILL MYSELF???!!! Hang myself, the rope breaks or my neck won't break! Get shanked, blade won't penetrate thick-ass hide! I overdose on alcohol and get gonorrhea instead, the bear gets too tired of mauling me hopelessly, I'm drowning and somehow I can breathe, (wtf how?!) seppuku will make the sword shatter against my hide, (again) and epic anime death...

...Old-age has never looked so epic.

The point is, I'm damned indestructable and need help figuring out how to die! PLEASE HELP!!!